think, write, share

after watching the season finale of Lost, I found myself with about 45 minutes before i had to leave the house to kristy’s for a memorial day bbq. i finally finished polishing off all the season finales of my TV watching schedule and the Mets game wasn’t on until 4pm, long after i needed to be up in mountain view. i had a marathon reading of The Da Vinci Code yesterday, finishing the whole book in a day and a half, so i wasn’t in the mood to start a new book–my stack currently contains five books right now. then i shifted my eyes over to the huge stack of magazines that is constantly growing and decided it was time to start going through them.

As I was reading an old edition of Commonweal, a thought suddenly came into my head. why did i feel the need to do anything at all? why must i constantly be doing something, and not just one thing, but multiple things? it’s hard for me to just sit down and watch TV; i feel the need to be doing something else too, whether it be ironing my clothes, reading the newspaper, surfing the web, cleaning the house, etc. whatever happened to just being?

i heard a phrase at a youth ministry workshop a few years ago that’s really stuck with me. while talking about teenagers today and how busy they always seem to be, one of our presenters said this:

we are human beings, not human doings

how profound! there are certainly times in my life where i feel like a human doing. i get antsy if i’m not trying to do two things at once. i have to force myself to make time each day to meditate, to just sit in the silence and just pray. and even when i do it, my mind wanders and thoughts about what i have to do later arise. i’m always trying to figure out what i need to do, what i have to do, when it needs to be done by.

whatever happened to living for the moment? letting tomorrow worry about tomorrow? not storing up treasures on earth that wither and decay? whatever happened to just being?

the easter season comes to a conclusion monday (after pentecost) and ordinary time resumes again. ordinary time lasts until advent, so it basically covers the entire summer and start of fall. it is a time where we focus on the ministry of Jesus and try to find God in our daily lives. there are no high holy days, no big feast days, nothing to prepare for, nothing to get stressed over. it is a time where we can just be. take a walk and smell the roses. spend some quality time with those you care for, relish every moment you can just sit with your loved ones and let them know what they mean to you. take the plunge and do something that you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid/anxious/worried to try.

but most of all, thank God for each and every breath you take, for each ray of sunshine that reaches your eyes, for every day that you wake up feeling refreshed and new. you’re parents always told you to say thank you for a gift and the present certainly is one.

I was going through some of my old laptop files tonight, things that I had kept on various computers while I was at school and at my old job and I came across this story. And after having dinner with a good friend of mine and talking about listening to what God is trying to say to us, it was even more appropriate that I ran across this. So this is for you:

STORY OF THE THREE TREES

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, “Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty.” Then the second tree said, “Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull.” Finally the third tree said, “I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.”

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, “This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter,” and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree a woodsman said, “This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard.” The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship. When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsman said, “I don’t need anything special from my tree so I’ll take this one” and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, man and women came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn’t think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said, “Peace,” and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the king of kings in its boat. Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it.

When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don’t seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they prayed for–just not in the way they had imagined. We don’t always know what God’s plans are for us.

We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

As most of you know, I almost never watch live TV unless it’s the evening news or baseball. And even with baseball, I tend to watch it on a delay, starting it 20-45 minutes later and just fast-forwarding through the commercials. I’m usually about a week behind on everything, sometimes more if I’m on travel, sometimes less.

And as most of you know, I’m a big fan of American Idol. So much so that I actually decided last night that I couldn’t wait until today to watch the results show when the rest of the nation would be buzzing about it and sat down to watch the telecast as it aired. About 10 minutes in, I felt weird, like I was trapped in some programming director’s sadistic torture plan, watching commercials and some of the pointless babble between Mr. Seacrest and anyone with a pulse. So, I had a brilliant idea.

Unlike some people who were only interested in the results, I wanted to see the whole spectacle: the cheesy filmed montages, the goofy idol awards, the music performances so that meant tuning in for the whole two hours. But didn’t want to sit through the commercials. So I paused the show at the start of the subsequent commercial break and fired up an episode of Alias I hadn’t seen yet and started to watch. Everytime I would hit a commercial break on Alias (which ended up being like every 10 minutes) I would pause the episode, flip back to Idol and watch it until I caught up with it live and at the next commercial break pause it and go back to Alias.

The end result of all this switching?

I got to see all the musical performances, the results announced live (the West Coast version) and all but the last 5 minutes of Alias.

I can’t remember how I ever lived without TiVo…

I saw this today.  I’m sure I can finagle a way to get it to work with my Asics, without having to buy those Nike+ shoes.

I love technology

(stolen from Cool Hunting)

i’m here in hot Tucson, AZ where the current temperature at 10.47pm is a balmy 78 degrees getting ready to spend three (3) days training Air Force personnel on the workings of my company’s system. it’ll be the second training stint i’ve pulled this year (the earlier one was in NH, three weeks ago) and the third time i’ve had to stand in front of uniformed servicemen/servicewomen/officers and put on a dog & pony show with hundreds of powerpoint slides and a laser pointer.

public speaking has never been a strong point with me. i often speak very quickly, with my mouth often outracing my mind resulting in a bunch of blabbering and disconnected thoughts which makes me anxious and only exasperates my tendency to get tongue-tied. growing up, all i wanted to do was blend into the crowd and not be noticed by anyone. in high school, i wanted to take a public speaking class because i knew it was a skill that i needed to have but i was too afraid to sign up often rationalizing to myself that i didn’t have room in my packed academic schedule for it. college didn’t really help me any, as anytime i had to stand in front of the class to do a presentation, it was often disasterous. so how is it now that other people have specifically requested me to come to their facility–this time Davis-Monthan AFB–and brief their people?

i honestly don’t know what the answer to that question is–it’s certainly not my stunning good looks. but what i do know is that over the past 6 years, i’ve become more comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people to the point where i find myself wanting to do it. and i think a lot of that has to do with God and the Spirit working through me. i know i’ve mentioned it previously here (or at least i thought i did), but that evening that i decided to put aside my fears and anxiety and come to youth group for the first time has changed me in ways too numerous to count. starting with my involvement with the youth, i now look forward to those Sundays where i lector at church and proclaim the Word of God to hundreds of the faithful. i love having people look at me waiting to hear what i have to say next. roll your eyes and chalk it up to ego or pride if you want, but i think that regardless of the subconcious reason for it, i’ve finally becoming the person that i always wanted to be for as long as i can remember.

so trust in God; trust in God’s ability to transform you from the person you are today to the person God created you to be. listen for God’s voice and look for God’s presence in everything and everyone around you. we’re created in God’s image; that person looking back at you in the mirror is a glimpse of God.

so stare at your reflection for as long as you want. the mirror won’t break, i promise